#EFJ儿童的特点（ESFJ/ENFJ）

EFJ儿童（外向、情感、判断）

潜在优势

他们有着善良，甜美，开放的天性
很容易交朋友，通常很受欢迎
他们很有条理和组织，尽管他们可能会，也可能不会很整洁
他们通常是值得信赖的，而且很勤奋
擅长做计划并经常从头到底地执行计划
如果规则被清晰定义并持续执行的话，他们将会尊重并遵守它们
他们通常是有礼貌，行为端正的孩子，可能是由于他们渴望社会承认的缘故
他们很会察言观色，并知道如何赢取好感
他们是很有魅力和有趣的

潜在弱点

他们强烈和热情的感情让他们非常敏感
他们如此地想去取悦他人，以致于他们可能去做实际上不想做的事情
他们可能太过兴奋 说话太过大声
他们如此渴望去取悦别人，以至于他们可能会撒谎，或夸张地说一些他们以为其他人想听的东西
不可能毫无沮丧感地就接受了批评
有控制欲和把持欲
他们倾向在完全理解事实前，就快速地做出决定
他们倾向卷入其他人的麻烦中
他们需要谈论他们自己的感情，来正确处理他们的问题
他们对于变化很不舒服，通常不能很好地适应新环境

EFJ学习方式

EFJ儿童通常喜欢上学，因为这满足了他们天生的需要。他们经常在学校里找到能和他们互动的人，并喜欢有条理的环境。他们通常是负责又努力的学生，尽管他们对于社交的关注会让他们很容易分散注意力
一个EFJ对于和他人持续互动的需要会让他们很难安静地坐下来，独自地做事情。他们非常喜欢团体合作，当他们能够大声的和他人谈论他们的想法和方案时，他们会做的更好。如果一个EFJ能和一个朋友，而不是他自己一人一起工作的话，他将会更加快乐更加高效
EFJ们有对和谐的强烈的需求，很容易因争执而不安。要想在一个既定的课堂上表现良好，他们需要感觉到他们的老师喜欢他们。如果孩子和老师还没有结成亲密关系，EFJ儿童会假定老师不喜欢他们。一个老师应该花点时间了解EFJ儿童，让这个孩子明白老师很高兴自己的课堂上有他。
EFJ们在规则和期望被清晰地描述时最舒服。在他们完成任务或作业前，他们会想要一个计划。如果任务还没被计划出来，他们需要明确的规则和目标来自己创造一个计划

EFJ的特殊需要

对很多家长来说，不摧毁孩子的精神又能找到一个方法来惩戒ETJ是项很困难的任务。EFJ儿童对批评超级敏感，惩罚会使他们完全无力。父母可以通过明确定义规定，阐明对孩子行为的期望，来减少不必要的对他们EFJ孩子们的惩罚。如果你需要惩戒你的孩子，确保他们知道你这样做是为他们好，而且你还爱着他们
父母和老师应该尽可能频繁地给予EFJ孩子正面的鼓励。有些T型成人经常不去表达他们的爱意和珍视。他们认为他们的孩子明白他们的感情，不必一遍遍地表达它们。F型儿童需要鼓励与反馈。如果一个成人一点都不给予，这就相当于在F型儿童的心灵中给予了负面的反馈（即不支持）
EFJ儿童用热情和激情来感受事物。他们将会带着这个特性过完他们的一生。让他们不必为这样强烈的感情而感到愧疚或愚蠢是很重要的。有些善意的父母可能不希望他们的孩子对环境有如此的情绪反应，并且可能会试图淡化他们孩子的感情。这是个错误。EFJ儿童将会变成EFJ成年人，没有任何事能改变这一点。然而，EFJ的父母可以影响孩子整个人生的幸福感。父母应该鼓励他们的EFJ孩子学会分享他们的感情，不带任何尖刻判断地去倾听孩子（的想法)EFJ们乐于社交上的活跃，喜欢成为一个集体一部分的感觉。他们也会在帮助他人中获得快乐。这些是他们生命中最强有力的特性。为了他们健康的成长，EFJ应当被鼓励去参加一些团体活动，像女子童子军或男子童子军。他们也会从有组织的宗教和社区志愿活动中获益。团队运动为他们充沛的身体能量提供了很好的发泄口，也满足了他们的社交需要
EFJ对于变化不舒服，可能会警惕克制地进入一个新环境。父母和照顾儿童的人应该给EFJ调整的时间，而不能紧逼他们。帮助EFJ儿童把新环境当做他以前经历过的事情的一部分将有利于他们的调整

“丢失”的字母

成人人格类型包含四个字母，而7到12岁的儿童只用到三个。丢失的那个字母到哪儿去了？它就在那儿，我们只是无法在一个人13岁前就确定它罢了。EFJ儿童将会成长为ESFJ照顾者，或者是ENFJ给予者。在他们发展的这个阶段，他们将选用直觉还是感知来辅助他们的F偏好，这不是很明显。你将会看到他们练习使用直觉和感知功能，直到他们定下所偏好的一项。对一些孩子来说，确定“丢失的字母”是可能的，但对于很多孩子，我们只能再等几年才能下判断

Portrait of an EFJ Child (Extraverted Feeling Judging)

<h3.Potential Strengths They have kind, sweet and open natures
They make friends easily, and are usually popular
They are structured and organized, although they may or may not be very neat
They are usually dependable and hard working
They are good at making plans and usually follow through on them
They will respect and follow rules if they are clearly defined and consistently enforced
They are usually well-mannered and well-behaved children, probably because they crave social approval
They can read other people very well, and know how to get on their good sides
They are charming and fun

Potential Weaknesses

Their intense and passionate feelings make them hyper-sensitive
They're so interested in pleasing others that they might do things that they don't really want to do
They may be overly loud and exciteable
They want to please others so much that they will lie or exaggerate to say something that they think someone wants to hear
Cannot take criticism at all without becoming very upset
Can be controlling and manipulative
They may tend to make decisions too quickly, without understanding all of the facts
They tend to get in the middle of other people's problems
They need to talk a lot about their feelings in order to get them into perspective
They are uncomfortable with change and do not usually adapt well to new situations

EFJ Learning Style

EFJ children usually enjoy going to school, because it meets many of their natural needs. They always find people to interact with at school and they enjoy the structured environment. They are usually responsible and hard working students, although their interest in being social may cause them to be easily distracted in the classroom.

An EFJ's need to constantly interact with others makes it difficult for them to sit quietly and do a project on their own. They greatly prefer group projects, and usually do better when they can talk through their ideas and tasks out loud with others. If an EFJ is allowed to work with a friend rather than working alone, he or she will almost always be happier and more productive.

EFJs have a strong need for harmony and are quickly unsettled by conflict. They need to feel that their teacher likes them in order to be able to function well in a given class. If the child and teacher have not formed a bond, the EFJ child may assume that the teacher does not like them. A teacher should take a few extra moments to get to know the EFJ child, and let the child know that they are glad to have them in their class.

EFJs are most comfortable when the rules and expectations are spelled out clearly. Before they can complete any task or assignment, they will want to have a plan. If the task is not already planned out, they need to have the rules and goals clearly defined so that they can create a plan.

EFJ Special Needs
Finding a way to discipline their EFJ without crushing their spirit will be a difficult task for many parents. EFJ children are hyper-sensitive to criticism, and can be completely disable by punishment. Parents can diminish the need to punish their EFJ children by clearing defining the rules and expectations for the child's behavior. Rules should be enforced consistently and as kindly as possible. If you need to discipline your child, make sure that they know that you are doing it for their own good, and that you still love them.

Parents and teachers of EFJ children should give them positive feedback as often as possible. Some Thinking adults often do not express love or admiration. They believe that their kids know how they feel, so it's not necessary to express themselves over and over again. Feeling children need to hear the feedback. If an adult doesn't give them any feedback at all, this is often equal to negative feedback in the Feeling child's mind.

EFJ children feel things intensely and passionately. They will carry this trait with them throughout their lives. It's important that they're not made to feel guilty or foolish for having such strong feelings. Some well-meaning parents might not want their children to have such emotional reactions to situations, and may try to downplay their children's feelings. That is a mistake. EFJ children will grow into EFJ adults, and nothing will change that. However, the EFJ's parents will influence the child's general happiness and effectiveness throughout their lives. Parents should encourage their EFJ children to share their feelings, and should listen to them without harsh judgment.

EFJs love to be socially active and feel like part of a group. They also thrive on opportunities to help others. These attributes are some of the strongest that they will have to offer in their lives. To encourage their healthy development, EFJs should be encouraged to participate in group activites like Girl Scouts or Boy Scouts. They will also benefit from organized religion and community volunteer work. Team sports are an excellent outlet for their abundant physical energy, as well as their social needs.

EFJs are uncomfortable with change, and will probably approach an unknown situation with caution and reserve. Parents and caregivers should give their EFJ time to adjust to the idea rather than pushing them. Helping the EFJ child to see the new situation within the context of something that the EFJ has already experienced will help them adjust.

The "Missing" Letter

Adult personality types contain four letters, while for kids aged 7-12 we use three letter types. What happened to the missing letter? It's there, we just can't usually determine what it is until after a person is 13 years old. EFJ kids will grow up to be either ESFJ "Caregivers" or ENFJ "Givers". At this stage in their development, it's not obvious whether they will choose Intuition or Sensing to complement their Feeling preference. You will see the child practicing both Intuition and Sensing as they settle down into their preferred function. In some children, it's possible to distinguish their "missing" letter, but for many kids we just have to wait a few years to be sure.