动态
心理成长
12-27 17:11

ETJ儿童(外向、思考、判断)

ETJ的特征

极度乐观、自信,相信他们永远是对的

意志力强,独立,聪明,有能力,他们对任何事情都感兴趣,一直在问“为什么”

精力充沛又极富热情,对于身体运动很感兴趣并活跃其中

对于一个孩子来说,他们不同寻常地有力量,如同权威般的存在

他们对人友好并喜欢和人在一起,他们重视能力和知识

非常诚实和直接,经常不会意识到也不会对其他人的感情感兴趣

他们带着权威性,快速地做出决定,他们可能看起来比实际年龄要大

他们非常有竞争性,自立自主,更喜欢领导而非遵守

潜在的强项

他们通常有很强的不会轻易被撼动的自尊心,ETJ们是天生的领导者,理性又逻辑,他们倾向于贯彻他们自己的计划和方案

他们会不由自主的把他们的想法制成很有结构性的计划

他们很友好,通常很容易地和他人交朋友

他们尊重期限并能够在最后期限前完成任务

他们通常很有能力,而且能够完全掌握感兴趣的东西

对钱很在行,通常知道如何赚钱

他们能够正确对待建设性的批评,并不觉得自己被威胁了

可能的弱点

天生的直言不讳和诚实会导致他们有时说些伤人的话

极度具有的控制欲

坏脾气,非常容易生气,会非常傲慢

他们需要结构和秩序,让他们适应新环境很难

他们只能从他们自己的角度看问题,意识不到其他人的看法

他们做决定非常快速,有时缺乏真实数据,以致不能继续下去

他们不懂得其他人情感的价值,需要学会具有同情心

他们倾向大声并有攻击性地说话,可能会因此卷入争斗

ETJ的学习特征

ETJ儿童极度理性和有逻辑,对于需要使用逻辑的任务能够很好得完成。如果你试图让ETJ接受一个观点,你需要对它进行有条理地解释。理性的论证是让他们快速理解(道理)的唯一途径

ETJ儿童欣赏结构,秩序和连贯性。规则和期望需要被清晰地阐述,并持续地执行。任务需要被有条理地计划出来,以方便ETJ的操作。如果没有清晰的计划来说明如何完成一个任务,ETJ会创造一个他们自己的计划,然后完成ETJ们是以目标为导向的,对于定下来的目标会全力完成。创造和定义清晰的目标,让ETJ们去完成吧~

ETJ们很有表达欲,喜欢成为注意的中心。他们很有可能在没被提问的情况下,就在课上发言,而且经常在他们还没完全想清楚前,就给出答案。如果这种行为在课堂上制造出某种混乱,老师就会规定不准孩子们在举手并点到名之前随便发言。如果能清楚向孩子们解释这条规则,并持续执行,ETJ会选择遵守它ETJ儿童非常诚实和公正。当他们意识到了任何不公,或规则的不平等时他们会变得焦躁不安。他们坚决地认为规则应该应用到每个人身上,不理解为了一个特殊原因而扭曲规则的状况。他们甚至可能会亲身担起责任来,以督促规则的实施

ETJ们是具有高度好奇心的儿童,总是在问问题。老师应该尽可能清晰准确地回答他们的问题。如果不清楚改如何回答,老师应当实话实说,并提供解决问题的可能的途径,比如说图书馆。老师不应该试图把他们不知道的东西糊弄过去,因为ETJ很有可能会继续询问下去,直到得到了满意的答案

ETJ儿童天生就不信赖新事物。他们通常对接受新概念有困难,而且可能一下就给与全部否定。当向ETJ介绍新事物时,老师应该把新观念放置在一个ETJ已经知道的环境(语境)中。例如,当介绍除法时,老师应当说,“除法就同我们已知的乘法一样,只不过转换了规则而已”,来借此平息J型儿童的恐惧和不安ETJ在控制掌握他们自己的东西时最满意,最有自信心。他们高度评价他们的能力和独立性。老师和家长可以通过询问他们的观点,尊重地倾听他们的想法来鼓励ETJ这些方面的发展。奖励已取得的成绩,让ETJ扩大对自己的事情负责的能力,也是一个促进他们健康成长的很好的方法

应该给予ETJ独特的赞扬。通常的回应(像“干得好”之类),对ETJ来说没有任何价值。他们想知道究竟是哪儿他们干得好了,以及为什么这被认为是干得好。当给与ETJ儿童反馈时,请尽可能的具体

ETJ的特殊需要

ETJ儿童的发言会非常直接,这会导致他们在一些特定环境中说一些不适当的话。成人应当意识到,尽管他们可能说了些伤人的话,他们很少故意地为难人。他们只是在做他们诚实直接的自己罢了。他们也不应该为他们的行为感到愧疚。如果他们的直接真的导致了问题,你应该和他们说明白,提供具体例子并有条理地解释为何他们的行为给人带来了麻烦。

有些ETJ儿童具有身体攻击性。他们可能会推搡其他孩子,或者进入到争斗中。对付这类行为最好的办法是为这种攻击行为制定下明确的规则。既然ETJ们容易被有条理的论证说服,向他们解释他们不当行为的理论及现实后果会非常有效。这些规则应当被清楚地定义,并持续地执行。ETJ们有无穷的活力,并需要身体上的运动。让他们有发泄能量的出口,这是很重要的。对父母或照顾ETJ儿童的人来说,一种有效途径就是向他们提供身体运动上的机会,提高他们在团队运动中的参与度。ETJ们对于团队运动尤其擅长,因为他们能从社交和身体运动这两个方面得到好处。他们也会运用这个机会锻炼他们的领导能力。

ETJ女性经常接受来自我们社会的强烈的(暗示)信息,那就是她们需要降低她们的坚定和自信程度,来变得更女人一点。但ETJ女孩进入青春期时,她们会经历一段难熬的日子,试图让她们强有力的天性与社会的女性标准相符合。她们得到社会明确的要求——既然你是女孩,你就应该更温和一点。有时这些要求很不显眼,但有时会很明显。父母不应该落入指责ETJ女孩不够女性的陷阱。这种行为可能会严重挫伤一个孩子自尊心,会让他们对于自己成年后的魅力和性感心怀不安。父母应该表现出对他们的ETJ女儿的持续支持。这将会帮助她们保持她们天生的自尊和自信心,不管社会需要的与她们的天性有多么得不同。在另一方面,ETJ男孩接受着来自社会的关于他们“男人”特性的正面的信息。如果ETJ男孩太过认同这种支持,以致他们的占有欲和攻击性控制了他其他的人格特性,他们将很有可能在发展他们的F(情感)功能上面临问题。F功能已经是ETJ上最弱的能力了,如果完全阻止它的发展,这将会是个重大失误。

ETJ儿童不会天生地适应新环境,有时还会对变化或新事物感觉不舒服。父母和照看ETJ的人不应强迫ETJ儿童在准备好之前去接受新观点或新体验。把新体验放在ETJ已知的框架体系中,会帮助他们接受新观点。

“丢失”的字母

成人人格类型由四个字母组成,然而对于7到12岁的儿童来说,他们只用三个字母。丢失的那个字母到哪儿去了?它就在那里,我们只是在一个人长到13岁前无法确定它是什么。ETJ儿童要么成长为ESTJ护卫者,要么成长为ENTJ执行者。在他们发展的这个阶段,他们是将选用感知还是直觉来辅助他们的思考功能,这不是很明显。你将会看到这个孩子练习使用直觉和感知,直到他们定下他们偏好的功能。对一些儿童来说,确定他们“丢失”的字母是有可能的,但对很多孩子来说,我们只能在等几年才能确定。

Portrait of an ETJ Child (Extraverted Thinking Judging)

ETJ Traits

Strongly opinionated and self-confident, they think that they're always right

Strong-willed and independent

Intelligent and capable

They're curious about everything, and are always asking "Why?"

Energetic and enthusiastic

Active and interested in physical sports

Unusually powerful and authoritative presence for a child

They're friendly and enjoy people

They prize competence and knowledge

Very honest and direct

Often unaware and uninterested in how others feel

They make decisions quickly and with authority

They may seem older than they are

They are very competitive

Independent and self-sufficient, they prefer to lead than follow

Potential Strengths

They usually have a good amount of self-esteem that is not easily shaken

ETJs are natural leaders

They're very logical and rational

They tend to follow through on their projects

They are naturally driven to put their ideas or projects into plans and structures

They are friendly and usually make friends easily

They respect and meet deadlines

They're usually very capable, and will completely master something that has interested them

They are good with money, and usually know how to make money

They're able to take constructive criticism well, without feeling personally threatened

Potential Weaknesses

Their natural bluntness and honesty causes them to sometimes say hurtful things

They can be extremely dominating and controlling

They can have bad tempers, and get angry easily

They can be arrogant

Their need for structure and order makes it difficult for them to adapt to new situations

They can only see their own perspective, and don't recognize any one else's viewpoint as valid

They make decisions very quickly, sometimes with no real data to go on

They don't understand the value of people's feelings, and need to learn compassion

They tend to be loud and aggressive, and may get into fights

ETJ Learning Style

ETJ children are extremely logical and rational, and do very well with tasks that can be mastered using logic. If you are trying to impress a point upon an ETJ, you will have to do it logically. A rational argument is the only way to reach them effectively.

ETJ children desire structure, order, and consistency. Rules and expectations need to be clearly defined and consistently enforced. Tasks need to be planned out in order for the ETJ to be comfortable with performing them. If there is no clear plan for performing a given assignment, the ETJ will need to create a plan on their own before they can complete it.

ETJs are very goal-oriented, and will work hard to meet defined goals. Create and define clear goals for the ETJ to pursue.

ETJs are loud and expressive, and like to be the center of attention. They're likely to speak up in class without being asked, and often give answers before they have thought them through completely. If this behavior creates a problem in the classroom, the teacher could create a rule that no one is allowed to speak out unless they raise their hand and are called upon. If this rule is explained clearly and rationally to the child, and is consistently enforced, the ETJ is likely to respect it.

ETJ children are very honest and fair. They may become quite upset at any perceived unfairness, and inequity of rules. They strongly believe that rules should apply to everyone, and they don't understand bending rules for a particular case. They may even try to take it upon themselves to enforce rules.

ETJs are highly curious children, and are always asking questions. Teachers should respond to the ETJ's questions as precisely and accurately as possible. If they're not sure how to answer a question, they should be prepared to say so, and to offer possible avenues for discovering the answer, such as library research. They shouldn't try to gloss over something that they don't know, because the ETJ will very likely pursue the question until it is satisfactorily answered.

ETJ children are naturally suspicious of new things. They often have difficulty accepting new concepts, and may reject them entirely at first. When introducing a new subject to an ETJ, teachers should present the new idea in the same context as something that the ETJ already knows. For example, when introducing division, a teacher could quell a J type's fears by saying something like: "Division is just like multiplication, which we already know. The rules are just switched around."

ETJs get their best satisfaction and confidence from mastering something on their own. They highly prize their competence and independence. Teachers and parents can encourage this development in the ETJ by asking their opinions and listening with respect to their ideas. Rewarding achievements by increasing the ETJ's responsibility for doing things on their own is also an excellent way to promote their healthy development.

ETJ's should be complimented very specifically. Global feedback (such as "Good job!") does not have any value to the ETJ. They want to know exactly what they did well, and why it is considered good. Be as specific as possible when giving feedback to the ETJ child.

ETJ Special Needs

ETJ children are typically very direct in their speech. This will sometimes cause them to say things that seem unfeeling or inappropriate for a given situation. Adults should realize that the child rarely intends to be mean, although they may say something hurtful. They are just being their honest and direct selves. They should not be made to feel guilty about this behavior. If their directness is causing a real problem, you can speak with them about it, providing real examples and explaining rationally why their behavior is causing problems.

Some ETJ kids have a problem with physical aggression. They might push and shove other kids, or get into outright fights. The best way to deal with this behavior is to set very clear rules that prohibit this type of aggressive behavior. Since ETJs are most impressed by a logical argument, explaining the logical and realistic implications of their hurtful behavior should be effective. These rules should be clearly defined and consistently enforced.

ETJs have a tremendous amount of energy and need to be physically active. It's important that they have outlets for all of this energy. One great way for parents and caregivers to provide their ETJ's with opportunities for physical activity is to promote their involvement with team sports. ETJs do especially well with team sports because they're able to benefit from the social aspect as well as the physical activity. They also may use the opportunity to practice their natural leadership skills.

ETJ females often receive strong messages from our society that they need to tone down their assertiveness and self-confidence to be more feminine. As ETJ girls enter adolescence, they will probably go through a hard time trying to reconcile their forceful natures with society's feminine ideal. They get a definite message from the world around them that since they are girls they should be more gentle then they are. Sometimes these messages are subtle, but sometimes they are quite obvious. Parents should definitely not fall into the trap of criticizing their ETJ girls for a lack of femininity. That's the type of thing that may seriously damage a child's self-esteem, and cause them to be uncomfortable with their appeal and sexuality as adults. Parents should show clear and consistent support for their ETJ girls. This will help them retain their natural self-esteem in the face of a society that wants them to be different than they naturally are.

ETJ boys, on the other hand, receive positive supportive messages from our society about their "masculine" personalities. If ETJ boys value this support to the extent that they allow their dominance and aggression free reign in their personalities, they're likely to have real problems developing their Feeling preference. The Feeling side is already the weakest area for an ETJ, and it would be a big mistake to starve its development completely.

ETJ children do not naturally adapt well to new situations, and are sometimes uncomfortable with change or anything new. Parents and caregivers should not force their ETJ children to accept new ideas or experiences before they are ready. Putting a new experience within the framework of something that is already known to the ETJ will help them to accept the idea.

The "Missing" Letter

Adult personality types contain four letters, while for kids aged 7-12 we use three letter types. What happened to the missing letter? It's there, we just can't usually determine what it is until after a person is 13 years old. ETJ kids will grow up to be either ESTJ "Guardians" or ENTJ "Executives". At this stage in their development, it's not obvious whether they will choose Sensing or Intuition to complement their Thinking preference. You will see the child practicing both Intuition and Sensing as they settle down into their preferred function. In some children, it's possible to distinguish their "missing" letter, but for many kids we just have to wait a few years to be sure.
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